Power and Control Wheel
Developed By: Domestic Abuse Intervention Pro. 202 East Superior St, Duluth MN 55802
A healthy relationship is based on being equal and respectful to your partner. In a domestic violence relationship one partner uses power and control to keep their partner from leaving. The wheel shows various forms of abuse, including physical and sexual violence, as well as more subtle tactics like emotional abuse, isolation, and economic abuse.
Please look over the wheel and identify the types of abuse you have experienced to help you have a better understanding of what has been happening. It is never your fault that a partner is treating you this way. There are many resources in Albuquerque that want to help make sure you do not have to experience power and control used against you again.
Using Intimidation
- Making them afraid or unsafe by using looks, gestures, or actions
- Smashing things
- Damaging property
- Abusing pets
- Displaying weapons
Using Emotional Abuse
- Putting them down
- Making them feel bad about themselves
- Calling them names
- Making them think they’re crazy
- Playing mind games
- Humiliating them
- Making them feel guilty for things
Using Isolation
- Controlling what they do, who they talk to and see, what they read, and where they go
- Limiting their outside involvement
- Using jealousy to justify actions
Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming
- Making light of the abuse and not taking their concerns seriously
- Saying the abuse didn’t happen
- Shifting responsibility for the abusive behavior
- Saying they caused the abuse
Using Children
- Making them feel guilty about the children
- Using the children to relay messages
- Using visitation to harass them
- Threatening to take away the children
- Using the children as pawns
Using Privilege
- Treating them like a servant
- Making all the big decisions
- Being the one to define roles
- Using privilege to discredit them, put them in danger, cut off access to resources, or use the system against them
- Acting like the “Master of the Castle”
Using Economic Abuse
- Preventing them from getting a job
- Making them ask for money
- Interfering with work or education
- Using their credit cards without permission
- Not working and requiring them to provide support
- Keeping their name off joint assets
Using Coercion and Threats
- Making and/or carrying out threats harm them
- Threatening to leave them
- Threatening to commit suicide
- Threatening to report them to Immigration or Child Welfare
- Making them do illegal things